TIRED
1.36am in the morning. i am tired. physically and emotionally tired. didn't do lotsa things anyway. just caught up with this extremely exhausted feeling just now. many things in my mind. many things are undone. many things that i am responsible for. and most of all, many things don't seem to work accordingly.
Audition coming. but where are the participants? How if none of them sign up? i need to replan the performance?
CAMP coming this weekend. i am in charge of the emcee throughout the camp, and also carry out games. if this camp were to become a bored one, or an exciting one, it will all depend on my hands. i don't wana screw it. i had been working for the camp every year since 2005. the fifth year, and suddenly i feel afraid! can't get rid of the feeling.
assignment due dates. mid terms. dance practice. telemarketing. the overloaded work had pushed me hard. i can work under stress condition, im fine with it. just that, i err...suddenly lose all my self esteem in doing things.
do i know myself well?
do i know my feelings?
do i really have the ability to do those things? or im just booasting about it?
most of all, am i still the same?
am i still the "outgoing, cheerful, happy" girl that lotsa people acknowledged me as?
i don't know.
the feeling of uncertainty, the fear of confused about my personality. frankly, i am afraid.
im tired juggling with people, especially relationship problems. why why why? all these problems came in one row, and allow the threat of abandonment stroke me like nobody business? why why why? why the timing is just so great that all the problems happened just after another?
im not God u know. i will emo. i have mood swings. i suffer from bipolar disorder.
i wana take a rest. seriously a rest. that i no need to listen to any of the advices from anyone. that i can really do something on my own, not living to meet other's expectations.
family, friends, colleges, works.
can't u just let me go?
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
performance!
lotsa performance coming! for prom n camp!
im busy, but i enjoy doing this! love dancing with my gang of friends n Fayette House members!
for the camp, i need to learn the chorus of these three songs.
also, the cute korean dance i showed in my previous post, from 0.58 to 1.18
whoa, all of them from different genres, cute, sexy n powerful! hmmm guess i need to work slightly harder! ahahahaha...
lotsa performance coming! for prom n camp!
im busy, but i enjoy doing this! love dancing with my gang of friends n Fayette House members!
for the camp, i need to learn the chorus of these three songs.
[MV][HQ]超清晰-Real Man(大丈夫)-Jolin/蔡依林
im learning the steps from 0.59 to 1.15 and 2.22 to 2.32撐腰～大家一起跳！小豬 羅志祥 SHOW
also, the cute korean dance i showed in my previous post, from 0.58 to 1.18
whoa, all of them from different genres, cute, sexy n powerful! hmmm guess i need to work slightly harder! ahahahaha...
Thursday, June 4, 2009
ladies and gentleman, i have something really serious to announce.
very serious...
very very serious...
extremely serious...
i....errrr...
PASS MY DRIVING TEST! woohooo~ *applause + cheering*
finally, my second attempt of getting my license is successful!
BUT, i was kind frustrated this afternoon. did u know how efficient our government officer works? i guess u do right?
so early in the morning, i went there around 7.30am, n guess what time i reached home? 5.30PM!!10 hours!!! what i did most of the time was WAITING WAITING AND WAITING. i have no idea why they like to delay everything. isn't it great to complete it fast, so they can leave earlier, we can go home earlier as well? when there was 60+ candidates were waiting for the on the road test in the afternoon, they still PAUSED for tea time, whereby they actually eaten their lunch few hours ago! issshhh im very mad at this.
BESIDES, there's another thing that made me so mad about them. FYI i registered for both test, which are the car and the motorbike. last time, my first attempt, we are allowed to take both test on the same day. but this morning, SUDDENLY they changed the rules, we can either choose one of the test, and come back two weeks later to take another test. this decision was rather abrupt, that affected lotsa candidates including me. they should have inform all of us earlier, so that we will not waste our time to go earlier, and WAITED there for the whole day! i was really really furious! i called my mom n scolded those people in the phone for 15minutes! oh ya, by the way, their attitude were very annoying as well!
Officer: kau sekarang hanya boleh pilih satu test saja, yang lain datang hari nanti.
me: har? tapi tak cakap awal awal pun? hari ini pun tak boleh?
Officer: tak boleh. ini arahan dari atas. ARAHAN JANGAN TANYA KENAPA!
me: $^#%&^%*^(()($%
shit la, they were so rude! and imply the instructions blindly. at least, if they gave me a proper explain, i would not be that mad, yet. now, i just asked for one simply tiny easie busie EXPLANATION, they gave me that kind of expression! walao~ do u know how angry i was? **** wei!!!!
anyway, i pass my driving test. actually i almost fail again. ALMOST. SERIOUSLY.
so it happens like this. i got into a car, which the handbrake was very hard/tight (dono how to describe). i went up the bukit lo, parked in the yellow line, raise my hand. so far no problem.
after that, when i wanted to go down, the brake was stuck! like last time! so when i was trying to put it down, the car slided a little bit! i shocked! then quickly i step on brake, to stop it from falling down again. then i tried to put down the handbrake again, the car slide down for the second time! OMG i was panic like hell that time. the officer kept looking at me d, i was afraid that he would ask me to go down n fail again. so i ignore his stare (he stared at me man! gosh!), tried one last time, finally my dear handbrake is willing to cooperate with me! i went down smoothly, err not really smoothly tho, but at least i managed to go down! THANK GOD! phewww
parking and three point turn were okie. but i was really nervous, especially after the incident on the bukit, i felt that my whole leg was trembling terribly when i was stepping on the clutch!
luckily i pass! yayayyy!!! hooray!
our number card! this reminds me of the kad kebenaran to go out of class when i was in high school! haha
the new "jersey" for the motorbike test candidates! aiks, cnt wear it today anyway. sighhh...
I PASSED!!!HOHOHO
very serious...
very very serious...
extremely serious...
i....errrr...
PASS MY DRIVING TEST! woohooo~ *applause + cheering*
finally, my second attempt of getting my license is successful!
BUT, i was kind frustrated this afternoon. did u know how efficient our government officer works? i guess u do right?
so early in the morning, i went there around 7.30am, n guess what time i reached home? 5.30PM!!10 hours!!! what i did most of the time was WAITING WAITING AND WAITING. i have no idea why they like to delay everything. isn't it great to complete it fast, so they can leave earlier, we can go home earlier as well? when there was 60+ candidates were waiting for the on the road test in the afternoon, they still PAUSED for tea time, whereby they actually eaten their lunch few hours ago! issshhh im very mad at this.
BESIDES, there's another thing that made me so mad about them. FYI i registered for both test, which are the car and the motorbike. last time, my first attempt, we are allowed to take both test on the same day. but this morning, SUDDENLY they changed the rules, we can either choose one of the test, and come back two weeks later to take another test. this decision was rather abrupt, that affected lotsa candidates including me. they should have inform all of us earlier, so that we will not waste our time to go earlier, and WAITED there for the whole day! i was really really furious! i called my mom n scolded those people in the phone for 15minutes! oh ya, by the way, their attitude were very annoying as well!
Officer: kau sekarang hanya boleh pilih satu test saja, yang lain datang hari nanti.
me: har? tapi tak cakap awal awal pun? hari ini pun tak boleh?
Officer: tak boleh. ini arahan dari atas. ARAHAN JANGAN TANYA KENAPA!
me: $^#%&^%*^(()($%
shit la, they were so rude! and imply the instructions blindly. at least, if they gave me a proper explain, i would not be that mad, yet. now, i just asked for one simply tiny easie busie EXPLANATION, they gave me that kind of expression! walao~ do u know how angry i was? **** wei!!!!
anyway, i pass my driving test. actually i almost fail again. ALMOST. SERIOUSLY.
so it happens like this. i got into a car, which the handbrake was very hard/tight (dono how to describe). i went up the bukit lo, parked in the yellow line, raise my hand. so far no problem.
after that, when i wanted to go down, the brake was stuck! like last time! so when i was trying to put it down, the car slided a little bit! i shocked! then quickly i step on brake, to stop it from falling down again. then i tried to put down the handbrake again, the car slide down for the second time! OMG i was panic like hell that time. the officer kept looking at me d, i was afraid that he would ask me to go down n fail again. so i ignore his stare (he stared at me man! gosh!), tried one last time, finally my dear handbrake is willing to cooperate with me! i went down smoothly, err not really smoothly tho, but at least i managed to go down! THANK GOD! phewww
parking and three point turn were okie. but i was really nervous, especially after the incident on the bukit, i felt that my whole leg was trembling terribly when i was stepping on the clutch!
luckily i pass! yayayyy!!! hooray!
our number card! this reminds me of the kad kebenaran to go out of class when i was in high school! haha
the new "jersey" for the motorbike test candidates! aiks, cnt wear it today anyway. sighhh...I PASSED!!!HOHOHO
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Driving Test.
as i've mentioned in my previous post, im gonna have my driving test AGAIN molo early morning. i start to feel panic now, rehearse the steps to drive especially going up the slope in my mind the whole day! GOSH! the nervous feeling just strike me and i could not do anything about it. SHIT!
bless me la White Perodua Kancil with the L sticker and the plate number: BFK 3843!
blesssss me for goof fortune molo! i really seriously honestly dun wana fail again!!!
oh ya, mentioned about driving, did i share the incident that happened when i drove my mom's car?
it happened on a sunny evening, with the wind blows...okie anyway cut the crap. so since my mom always complain that i didn't practice my driving skills at home, and i was in "good" mood (must be the hormone), i tried to practice driving the bloody car lo
the major problem is that i dono how to reverse and park the car in my house properly. so my mom taught me, she stood outside the car, guide here and that. initially i was perfect. flawless. fantastic. then she said: whoa u can do very well d, so i no need to supervise u la.
after she left to do her own things, i happily drove the car alone without supervision lo. here comes the climax. after drove into the parking lot, the car is straighten, but not the stereng, coz i forgot about it. after that, i reverse again lo. i can see from the side mirror (left and right) that the car was in a straight line. that time i felt very proud, waaahh i can reverse without supervision, and i forgot to step on the brake.
what happened next was unexpected. i err...i forgot to notice the left side mirror, and it crashed into my gate, then stuck there! followed by a loud crash: BANG! The car was completely stuck. i repeat, COMPLETELY stuck! it can neither move forward nor backward, or else the side mirror would be broken! so i called my mom, my mom called my dad, my dad called upon my neighbor to help me. they used a tool, which i dono what is the name of it. after that, they pushed the car sideway (very strong right?) and the side mirror is SAFE!
the small mirror attached on the side mirror flew away when it was crashed, luckily it doesn't break into half. the side mirror got serious injuries on the other hand, a very the big scratch on it.
the smaller mirror flew off!
the big big scratch on the mirror! *soree mirror*
OMG! IM SUCH A BAD DRIVER! SOBB SOBBB....
anyway, i havta be very careful next time, as if there is a next time for me to drive.
signing out to sleep. gotta wake up early for the driving test! n ya, the korean dance is really cute! IM LEARNING N I LOVE IT! waaahaha
as i've mentioned in my previous post, im gonna have my driving test AGAIN molo early morning. i start to feel panic now, rehearse the steps to drive especially going up the slope in my mind the whole day! GOSH! the nervous feeling just strike me and i could not do anything about it. SHIT!
bless me la White Perodua Kancil with the L sticker and the plate number: BFK 3843!
blesssss me for goof fortune molo! i really seriously honestly dun wana fail again!!!
oh ya, mentioned about driving, did i share the incident that happened when i drove my mom's car?
it happened on a sunny evening, with the wind blows...okie anyway cut the crap. so since my mom always complain that i didn't practice my driving skills at home, and i was in "good" mood (must be the hormone), i tried to practice driving the bloody car lo
the major problem is that i dono how to reverse and park the car in my house properly. so my mom taught me, she stood outside the car, guide here and that. initially i was perfect. flawless. fantastic. then she said: whoa u can do very well d, so i no need to supervise u la.
after she left to do her own things, i happily drove the car alone without supervision lo. here comes the climax. after drove into the parking lot, the car is straighten, but not the stereng, coz i forgot about it. after that, i reverse again lo. i can see from the side mirror (left and right) that the car was in a straight line. that time i felt very proud, waaahh i can reverse without supervision, and i forgot to step on the brake.
what happened next was unexpected. i err...i forgot to notice the left side mirror, and it crashed into my gate, then stuck there! followed by a loud crash: BANG! The car was completely stuck. i repeat, COMPLETELY stuck! it can neither move forward nor backward, or else the side mirror would be broken! so i called my mom, my mom called my dad, my dad called upon my neighbor to help me. they used a tool, which i dono what is the name of it. after that, they pushed the car sideway (very strong right?) and the side mirror is SAFE!
the small mirror attached on the side mirror flew away when it was crashed, luckily it doesn't break into half. the side mirror got serious injuries on the other hand, a very the big scratch on it.
the smaller mirror flew off!
the big big scratch on the mirror! *soree mirror*OMG! IM SUCH A BAD DRIVER! SOBB SOBBB....
anyway, i havta be very careful next time, as if there is a next time for me to drive.
signing out to sleep. gotta wake up early for the driving test! n ya, the korean dance is really cute! IM LEARNING N I LOVE IT! waaahaha
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
car test
as i mentioned earlier that i failed my car test last time, *gritting teeth*, im gonna take it again this thursday, which is the day after tomorrow!!OMG so close! im not so steady yet FYI. i think, i really afraid of the bukit now. everytime i go up, i would recall my memory of failing last time.
aikssss why why why?
let me pass la k?
im dun wanna waste the time and money on this bloody shiited car test lo...
wish me luck people. *yawn* alright, time to sleep now! hahaha, hope i can update the good news soon.
ps: mom n dad back from Bali! whee lotsa new dress n bags! wahahaha...n also, bye bye home minister!
as i mentioned earlier that i failed my car test last time, *gritting teeth*, im gonna take it again this thursday, which is the day after tomorrow!!OMG so close! im not so steady yet FYI. i think, i really afraid of the bukit now. everytime i go up, i would recall my memory of failing last time.
aikssss why why why?
let me pass la k?
im dun wanna waste the time and money on this bloody shiited car test lo...
wish me luck people. *yawn* alright, time to sleep now! hahaha, hope i can update the good news soon.
ps: mom n dad back from Bali! whee lotsa new dress n bags! wahahaha...n also, bye bye home minister!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
