frustrating day

another frustrating day. i don't know what's wrong with me, but i realize that i always get frustrated, or in my own words- pekcek easily.
today i was supposed to conduct the sc meeting as usual. tell them about freshie party once again and distribute the tickets. i thought everything will run smoothly under my expectation, like promo, selling tickets and the video presentation. however, okie i will emphasize this word: HOWEVER...nothing always follow ur wishes. serious. okie here goes. first the promo thingy, chan said he got several contacts of freshie which are quite close with him, that he want me not to worry about the sales of tickets. all the way we promote, the responses were good. when i asked questions, they answered with all those excited look n etc. wow, i proceed: "so u guys look interested in this freshie party, and i can guarantee that this party will give an impact in ur college life!anyone wana come??(smiling broadly)"...then no response....i said: (shocked) NO??NONE of u wana come?" then they sent a representative 2 say"okie, we will think about it." easie. simpy n nice. these words straight away pushed me down from my cloud. i was dreaming maybe this freshie party will be more fun than last time. a bad start for my day.

then, in SC meeting, chiausim was not there. i felt a little bit insecure, i need to stop this. can't depend on others too much. somebody taught me this long time ago. but i still conduct the meeting. distribute the tickets and it's compulsory for each of them for selling 2 tickets. i saw some of them complaining, it's too much!but i don't care. if a leader cares too much of how her or his member works, the leader will not be able to make decision. after that, another bad news bombarded me, and i couldn't think properly. jason couldn't make it on that day, same goes to kristy and jasmine. absence of jason caused my brain stop working and my heart stop beating for 1 or 2 second. he's nt special to me, please don't misunderstand. he's the emcee for freshie party!!the most important job throughout that event!! "WHAT???!!" i straight away shouted.i just can't control my emotion. i need to work on on this. then, the feeling of stress stroke me again. i felt worried, maybe over worried, rachel saw me different from usual. she tried to comfort me by saying not worry or something. end up, we get justin as emcee, acceptable. the problem of emcee done. settle

journal article for effective listening class was terrifying. we couldn't search for it since last 2 weeks. all the websites require credit card number, and our parents will never let us know the credit card number, coz they afraid that the website will charge on it. so nevermind, today is actually the due date for handing up the journal article, and the progress is like none. we searched some before, but all rejected. i was so pissed off and damn frustrated in searching this. finally, i got 2 journal articles that somehow QUITE related to our topic, and our lecturer accepted it. but accepted it as in we said this is the best that we could get. she had a mindset that we can get better articles. if so, provide us a better library la!!our library is like nothing and how can we get resources? but anyways, im glad that this problem was settled.phew...relief

coming up next, the worst thing ever after!!!we had to do a short video presentation for freshie party, as the survival kit. we introduced segi for the freshies and show them what they suppose to know as being a segi student. so we spent the whole afternoon recording this. we had a great time. me, chiausim n rachel played and recorded, i felt better after playing. we did something like a reporter or traveling channel shows. funny and interesting. BUT but but...i said that things just not happen like what u expected. after spending about three hours of recording, i was so tired coz we kept talking in that video. i was in a hurry that i wana transfer everything into my laptop. i remove the cd in jevin's handycam, and insert into my laptop. first thing: o bytes!!huh??i checked again??empty folder. O-K-I-E, where's the video. i put back into the handycam n checked: great, everything GONE!!!it's because this is not memory stick that will automatically save the video on it. need to format it in the handycam to save the videos in the cd. so now, 3 hours of hardwork gone!!!angry, upset and many frustrated feelings. i was angry of myself. y am i such an idiot to remove the thingy without asking jevin how the handycam function? y am i, as the leader who planned all this, such a clumsy person, that can accidentally erase hardwork of my team?it's impossible to happen on others right? so i guess i need to give up from handling all the leadership thingy. i will draw everyone into trouble...soree for bring trouble to chiausim, rachel n other sc members...

worst thing had gone, tomorrow will be fine, i hope. i'm a strong buddhist. i hope my strong religion beliefs can provide me the courage and confidence to cope all these. i pray that i can be stronger as in controlling my emotion. i pray that all these challenges or obstacles can bring the fruit of joy in my life in the future. i believe that i can do better, i really do.

okie, enough for writing all this rubbish haha...tomorrow i have my gen psy presentation. one of the most important presentation for me!!all the best!!