death

err...another random thoughts at the middle of the night. well, i guess i had enjoyed a great time with him this afternoon in Pyramid and cannot sleep right now.

death

i was watching the HongKong drama, about the rice wan. err, kinda addicted. but there's this episode that caught myself in this thought.

death.

i used to think death, yeah u died, u lie there, a funeral, then no more. sad or grief? bereavement? aiya, u will get over it.

i changed my mind after that episode. the boss of the show, the great man, the wise man, had passed away just like that. i mean, according to them is a comma, not sure how it goes at the end, but for now he's dead to me. so anyway, he was suddenly walking on the street, then suddenly feel chest pain, most likely a heart stroke. then he fell down...

it reminds me of my grandpa. he passed away like that too. suddenly an intense chest pain, then pass away. i was crying as well at that time, but how to say? the feeling is not so strong yet. because we were not so close, a generation gap. so i feel sad without his presence, but...get over it very soon.

but how if someone that u really really love? like your mom? noone will nag u for not getting enough A's in UPSR or PMR?

like your dad? no one will cook the special and only one 100% breakfast whenever you are having an exam?

like your loved ones? who really cares for you?

like your friends? who are still with you after scolding and arguing with u?

i don't know. yeah, that's life. people come, people die. we live. and we do not want someone that we devote with to leave us. because we are selfish? no. because we are too possessive? no.

because we love. we care. we don't want them to go away. i want them to be with me. i want the memories. i do, i really do!

and the other reason i blog about this is because i had a bad dream just now. according to me, bad dreams have to tell. so yeah, i dreamt that my mom, she waved goodbye to me, telling a lot things that i need to take care of, then she walked into the coffin, close her eyes and pass away!

OMG OMGOMGOMGOMG!! THAT DREAM WAS FREAKING REALLLLLLLL!!!!
I SAW SHE CRIED. I SAW SHE LIFTING THE HEAVY COFFIN AND SHE CRAWLED INTO IT WHILE SHE IGNORED MY SCREAMING!!!!!!

THAT DREAM WAS SO REAL.
CANNOT TAKE IT.

saw an article today. aging people, some of them like to collect obituary. they will notice whoever had passed away in the newspaper, and collect them if the person is someone they know. and their common topic with their friends will be who will pass away first. which place will they go to and etc.

people, we are young yes. but death is just at our fingertips. you can die at the next moment. in a car accident. on a motorbike in the rain without the helmet especially. diseases. cancer. so on and so for. please, do take care. love your loved ones. do not regret it once it is over.

best wishes for my cousin and Jess's grandma.