Sunday, June 28, 2009

SLEEPs.

i really hope i have more time to sleep. gosh, the night before sport's day itu chiausim n jess came over and stayed overnight at my unit. as what we had expected, we PILLOW TALK-ED. more than 4 hours. we started that session from 12.30 till 5am. godness, why did we have so many things to talk about?

we gossip, reveal a lot secrets. and a lot more! now im updated with the gossips around me! haha...
after that, the two kids were hungry so i cooked them some soup. chiausim n i were really too tired that we dozed off, and slept for half an hour, while Jess who was still very energetic, STUDIED her bio. then we woke up at 5.30am, to get prepared to go to the Sport's day, somore need to reach by 6.30am. not enough sleep.

so then the whole day, busy with sport's day. got a lill sunburn as the sport's day held till 1pm. 1pm it was damn freaking HOT! overall, it was okie i guess. even most of the ADP students came just for the sake of attendance or extra marks, those who really enjoyed playing had their fun too! so yeah, on the other hand, got darker also sigh...then fetched chiausim back to klang. reached casa, did lotsa things, studie, somehow i slept at 3++ again. not enough sleep.

woke up around 9. studied. slept. ate. slept. ate. yet im still sleepy. even sleepy when im typing now. *yawn* gotta study for mid term tomorrow later.

by the way, MJ passed away. my dad loved him. err, i shall say, he DEVOTEd him. i wonder how he react towards this. would he be upset? would he start playing his songs at home, over and over again? i used to watch MJ's video when i was small, when my dad watched it. the most memorable one would be "thriller". the werewolf n those corpses caught me nightmare that time. urgh! now, im watching his video in youtube again. get a bit nostalgia. people accused him when he was alive, but when he dead, they suddenly remembered that he was the king of pop. how realistic eh them?

MJ R.I.P.

JOJO GO STUDIE!
Okie okie. going 2 studie now. all the best for my paper tomorrow. abnormal psy. im so gonna become abnormal soon. after prom.


ps: instant noodles doesn't go with instant mushroom soup. even they are both instant. ewwww taste weird...

pps: TRANSFORMER 2 is a MUST-WATCH!!! woo hoo~

Monday, June 22, 2009

again...

im here again. caught up with tons of thought inside me, feel like letting them out in one stroke.

first, happy belated father's day to every daddy out there! i cooked simple yet delicious breakfast for my dad. my dad is really shy, didn't even say thank you though i can see he really quite happy. so what i did, i forced him to say THANK YOU, and he kept grumbling after that. haha so cute! my beloved dad!!!LOVE YA LOTS~

im doing my research paper. 1 quarter done! FINALLY! *applause* but, somehow, i feel something is inside me, that strangled up all my concentration, distract all my mind, and i found it hard to go on writing my review paper!

urgh! happy honeymoon weekend at home is over. subang = college = stress.

facing some spontaneous situation for audition just now. was really panic, as i am the person in charge. and i want it to be a really great performance tomorrow. i don't wan my contestants to blame on the committee member, especially Horng and Chiausim for the disorganization due to audition. i yelled! i really dun wana see it! so last min, thanks to Jess, who helped me to solve the problem. *breathe breathe* still waiting for the panic attack to fade away.

im facing certain crisis now. something is not moving on. i don't really know what is that. it seems to deteriorate instead of improving. what is that in me? GOSH! TELL ME!

changes. sometimes it could be positive, sometimes it's just exerting pressure on us. especially people surround us. my friend, where had u been? why had u changed so much? being assertive, being aggresive, being motivated is never wrong. i know u r curious, that u r exposed to someone who can really inspire u! wow~ u r totally...attached to that person. is that good? in some way, u become more optimisstic, more confident. HOWEVER, how about us? ur friends who had be by ur side for years? u are willing to give us up when u r absorbing all the knowledge from her, whom u knew for less than 1 year?!

then, is that considered friendship? do u know that, u sound like a parrot, or rather a photostate machine now. u print and say exactly what your teacher taught u. it seems ridiculous for u to follow someone so ... blindly. yes, blindly, that's the word i suppose. i never deny her expertise, i never underestimate her. it just that, u gotta know, everything has their own limit, including listening to someone. listening to her, doesn't mean worship her. following her footsteps doesn't mean doing anything that she requests u to do.

u have ur own personality. u have ur own specialty. u r special in ur own way. changing urself to fit in her perfect mole is not a proper way. well, u might think im jealous of u when im saying this. u might think, we this gang, is remaining at the same place, while u keep moving forward. i do not deny that. of coz we can move on ourselves, in our own lives, studies, relationship and all. but at the end of the day, we come back to the same place, we gather, and we are still the same!

knowledge is precious. friends are precious. i think i heard this quote before. "the higher u climb, the higher u fall." im not cursing u. but do remember whenever u r tired, do turn back n see. we are still at the same place. ur HIAOHIAO bingtuan is still there, with our warm huggies and open hands.

appreciate what u have now, while u r chasing after something else. FAMILY and FRIENDS.


*dedicate to my best friend, whom had changed a lot now. physically and mentally.*

Sunday, June 21, 2009

SHORT UPDATE!

I DYE MY HAIR <-- * my hair turns this color*

I CUT MY HAIR

I OPENED MY MAYBANK ACC! *under age still, cannot open it alone*

I SLEPT FOR 1 AND A HALF HOUR ONLY! I MEAN IN THE AFTERNOON

I DOWNLOADED MANY SONGS JUST NOW

I HAVEN STARTED TO DO FATHER'S DAY CARD FOR DAD

IM PROCRASTINATING.

IM SPONTANEOUS.

IM LAZY.

IM SLEEPY AGAIN.

I SHALL SLEEP.

TATA!

nity~

still, miss Him.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Updates.

ladies and gentlemen. as demanded by PUBLIC, i shall update my blog, or else it will full with spider webs (according to tauyik) haha.

so anyway, i apologize for less updating recently due to heavy workload in college and studies. as u noe, my BIO needs to run 4 campaigns, then prom is really around the corner (OMG, it's about 2 weeks time!) anybody wana come for prom? buy ticket from me please?...

so yeah, in short, i was busy. very busy instead. wonder why SOMEBODY have time to play games n all. sigh... also, haven recovered fully after the 4 days camp. was really worn out and tired like hell. the tired-ness accumulate since last Sunday till now. coz i din sleep more than 5 hours per day the whole week. during camp, 4 hours per day instead. so if u saw me hanging around with my super duper terribly awful eye bags + dark circles, dun be surprise alright?

issshhh im supposed to do my research paper now. do u know that that stupid michelle ord completed it while i haven even read mine? im so so so so behind the track man...gotta work harder, sleep less, fang kong less too! BUT I WANA SLEEEEEEPPPP...

photos taken during PROM TICKET OFFICIAL LAUNCHING! all the girls look LOVELY on that day, oh well, inclusive of me of coz. *cheh perasan betul hahaha*
*from left* JoAn, Jess, JoJo, Chelsie, Kristy, Rachel, Winnie, Random guy at the back, Jasmine

Jessie~ *her dress reminds me of Korean traditional costume, with a big ribbon! so CUTE~*

Robin JoJo n CHOW TSU WEI! *purposely not to call u nicholas lalala* n btw i look fat from this angle! isssshhhh...

JoJo n Jason!

JoJo n Chiausim!

wondering why i have time to do all this when i keep saying that im busy? well, i reach my home. home, as in HOME, the real home sweet home! awwww love my bed so so much! then i excuse myself from doing anything today! yayyy! FRIDAY ROCKS! HOHOHO~

random snapshots!

Yeng wrote this on the paper during the meeting for camp. ohh it's a long long time ago that camp! and the sentence makes no sense, this is why i said this is random snapshot! haha

*yawn* alright, time for me to sleep! since i had been done lotsa things today *not really but dun care* so nity people! and might update less often as well.
LION SAYS: goodnight!

I Miss Him. Lots.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

TIRED

1.36am in the morning. i am tired. physically and emotionally tired. didn't do lotsa things anyway. just caught up with this extremely exhausted feeling just now. many things in my mind. many things are undone. many things that i am responsible for. and most of all, many things don't seem to work accordingly.

Audition coming. but where are the participants? How if none of them sign up? i need to replan the performance?

CAMP coming this weekend. i am in charge of the emcee throughout the camp, and also carry out games. if this camp were to become a bored one, or an exciting one, it will all depend on my hands. i don't wana screw it. i had been working for the camp every year since 2005. the fifth year, and suddenly i feel afraid! can't get rid of the feeling.

assignment due dates. mid terms. dance practice. telemarketing. the overloaded work had pushed me hard. i can work under stress condition, im fine with it. just that, i err...suddenly lose all my self esteem in doing things.

do i know myself well?

do i know my feelings?

do i really have the ability to do those things? or im just booasting about it?

most of all, am i still the same?

am i still the "outgoing, cheerful, happy" girl that lotsa people acknowledged me as?

i don't know.

the feeling of uncertainty, the fear of confused about my personality. frankly, i am afraid.


im tired juggling with people, especially relationship problems. why why why? all these problems came in one row, and allow the threat of abandonment stroke me like nobody business? why why why? why the timing is just so great that all the problems happened just after another?

im not God u know. i will emo. i have mood swings. i suffer from bipolar disorder.

i wana take a rest. seriously a rest. that i no need to listen to any of the advices from anyone. that i can really do something on my own, not living to meet other's expectations.

family, friends, colleges, works.
can't u just let me go?

Friday, June 5, 2009

performance!

lotsa performance coming! for prom n camp!
im busy, but i enjoy doing this! love dancing with my gang of friends n Fayette House members!

for the camp, i need to learn the chorus of these three songs.

[MV][HQ]超清晰-Real Man(大丈夫)-Jolin/蔡依林

im learning the steps from 0.59 to 1.15 and 2.22 to 2.32


撐腰~大家一起跳!小豬 羅志祥 SHOW





also, the cute korean dance i showed in my previous post, from 0.58 to 1.18

whoa, all of them from different genres, cute, sexy n powerful! hmmm guess i need to work slightly harder! ahahahaha...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

ladies and gentleman, i have something really serious to announce.


very serious...






very very serious...

















extremely serious...











i....errrr...







PASS MY DRIVING TEST! woohooo~ *applause + cheering*

finally, my second attempt of getting my license is successful!
BUT, i was kind frustrated this afternoon. did u know how efficient our government officer works? i guess u do right?

so early in the morning, i went there around 7.30am, n guess what time i reached home? 5.30PM!!10 hours!!! what i did most of the time was WAITING WAITING AND WAITING. i have no idea why they like to delay everything. isn't it great to complete it fast, so they can leave earlier, we can go home earlier as well? when there was 60+ candidates were waiting for the on the road test in the afternoon, they still PAUSED for tea time, whereby they actually eaten their lunch few hours ago! issshhh im very mad at this.

BESIDES, there's another thing that made me so mad about them. FYI i registered for both test, which are the car and the motorbike. last time, my first attempt, we are allowed to take both test on the same day. but this morning, SUDDENLY they changed the rules, we can either choose one of the test, and come back two weeks later to take another test. this decision was rather abrupt, that affected lotsa candidates including me. they should have inform all of us earlier, so that we will not waste our time to go earlier, and WAITED there for the whole day! i was really really furious! i called my mom n scolded those people in the phone for 15minutes! oh ya, by the way, their attitude were very annoying as well!

Officer: kau sekarang hanya boleh pilih satu test saja, yang lain datang hari nanti.
me: har? tapi tak cakap awal awal pun? hari ini pun tak boleh?
Officer: tak boleh. ini arahan dari atas. ARAHAN JANGAN TANYA KENAPA!
me: $^#%&^%*^(()($%

shit la, they were so rude! and imply the instructions blindly. at least, if they gave me a proper explain, i would not be that mad, yet. now, i just asked for one simply tiny easie busie EXPLANATION, they gave me that kind of expression! walao~ do u know how angry i was? **** wei!!!!

anyway, i pass my driving test. actually i almost fail again. ALMOST. SERIOUSLY.
so it happens like this. i got into a car, which the handbrake was very hard/tight (dono how to describe). i went up the bukit lo, parked in the yellow line, raise my hand. so far no problem.

after that, when i wanted to go down, the brake was stuck! like last time! so when i was trying to put it down, the car slided a little bit! i shocked! then quickly i step on brake, to stop it from falling down again. then i tried to put down the handbrake again, the car slide down for the second time! OMG i was panic like hell that time. the officer kept looking at me d, i was afraid that he would ask me to go down n fail again. so i ignore his stare (he stared at me man! gosh!), tried one last time, finally my dear handbrake is willing to cooperate with me! i went down smoothly, err not really smoothly tho, but at least i managed to go down! THANK GOD! phewww

parking and three point turn were okie. but i was really nervous, especially after the incident on the bukit, i felt that my whole leg was trembling terribly when i was stepping on the clutch!

luckily i pass! yayayyy!!! hooray!

our number card! this reminds me of the kad kebenaran to go out of class when i was in high school! haha

the new "jersey" for the motorbike test candidates! aiks, cnt wear it today anyway. sighhh...

I PASSED!!!HOHOHO

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Driving Test.

as i've mentioned in my previous post, im gonna have my driving test AGAIN molo early morning. i start to feel panic now, rehearse the steps to drive especially going up the slope in my mind the whole day! GOSH! the nervous feeling just strike me and i could not do anything about it. SHIT!

bless me la White Perodua Kancil with the L sticker and the plate number: BFK 3843!
blesssss me for goof fortune molo! i really seriously honestly dun wana fail again!!!

oh ya, mentioned about driving, did i share the incident that happened when i drove my mom's car?
it happened on a sunny evening, with the wind blows...okie anyway cut the crap. so since my mom always complain that i didn't practice my driving skills at home, and i was in "good" mood (must be the hormone), i tried to practice driving the bloody car lo

the major problem is that i dono how to reverse and park the car in my house properly. so my mom taught me, she stood outside the car, guide here and that. initially i was perfect. flawless. fantastic. then she said: whoa u can do very well d, so i no need to supervise u la.

after she left to do her own things, i happily drove the car alone without supervision lo. here comes the climax. after drove into the parking lot, the car is straighten, but not the stereng, coz i forgot about it. after that, i reverse again lo. i can see from the side mirror (left and right) that the car was in a straight line. that time i felt very proud, waaahh i can reverse without supervision, and i forgot to step on the brake.

what happened next was unexpected. i err...i forgot to notice the left side mirror, and it crashed into my gate, then stuck there! followed by a loud crash: BANG! The car was completely stuck. i repeat, COMPLETELY stuck! it can neither move forward nor backward, or else the side mirror would be broken! so i called my mom, my mom called my dad, my dad called upon my neighbor to help me. they used a tool, which i dono what is the name of it. after that, they pushed the car sideway (very strong right?) and the side mirror is SAFE!

the small mirror attached on the side mirror flew away when it was crashed, luckily it doesn't break into half. the side mirror got serious injuries on the other hand, a very the big scratch on it.

the smaller mirror flew off!
the big big scratch on the mirror! *soree mirror*

OMG! IM SUCH A BAD DRIVER! SOBB SOBBB....

anyway, i havta be very careful next time, as if there is a next time for me to drive.
signing out to sleep. gotta wake up early for the driving test! n ya, the korean dance is really cute! IM LEARNING N I LOVE IT! waaahaha

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

dancing MV

my friend is so into those Korean pop artists! usually im just neutral, but today when she taught me this dance, im so addicted! OMG it's so CUTE!

watch this!

Girls Generation (SNSD) - Gee MV



car test

as i mentioned earlier that i failed my car test last time, *gritting teeth*, im gonna take it again this thursday, which is the day after tomorrow!!OMG so close! im not so steady yet FYI. i think, i really afraid of the bukit now. everytime i go up, i would recall my memory of failing last time.

aikssss why why why?

let me pass la k?

im dun wanna waste the time and money on this bloody shiited car test lo...

wish me luck people. *yawn* alright, time to sleep now! hahaha, hope i can update the good news soon.

ps: mom n dad back from Bali! whee lotsa new dress n bags! wahahaha...n also, bye bye home minister!

testing