again...

im here again. caught up with tons of thought inside me, feel like letting them out in one stroke.

first, happy belated father's day to every daddy out there! i cooked simple yet delicious breakfast for my dad. my dad is really shy, didn't even say thank you though i can see he really quite happy. so what i did, i forced him to say THANK YOU, and he kept grumbling after that. haha so cute! my beloved dad!!!LOVE YA LOTS~

im doing my research paper. 1 quarter done! FINALLY! *applause* but, somehow, i feel something is inside me, that strangled up all my concentration, distract all my mind, and i found it hard to go on writing my review paper!

urgh! happy honeymoon weekend at home is over. subang = college = stress.

facing some spontaneous situation for audition just now. was really panic, as i am the person in charge. and i want it to be a really great performance tomorrow. i don't wan my contestants to blame on the committee member, especially Horng and Chiausim for the disorganization due to audition. i yelled! i really dun wana see it! so last min, thanks to Jess, who helped me to solve the problem. *breathe breathe* still waiting for the panic attack to fade away.

im facing certain crisis now. something is not moving on. i don't really know what is that. it seems to deteriorate instead of improving. what is that in me? GOSH! TELL ME!

changes. sometimes it could be positive, sometimes it's just exerting pressure on us. especially people surround us. my friend, where had u been? why had u changed so much? being assertive, being aggresive, being motivated is never wrong. i know u r curious, that u r exposed to someone who can really inspire u! wow~ u r totally...attached to that person. is that good? in some way, u become more optimisstic, more confident. HOWEVER, how about us? ur friends who had be by ur side for years? u are willing to give us up when u r absorbing all the knowledge from her, whom u knew for less than 1 year?!

then, is that considered friendship? do u know that, u sound like a parrot, or rather a photostate machine now. u print and say exactly what your teacher taught u. it seems ridiculous for u to follow someone so ... blindly. yes, blindly, that's the word i suppose. i never deny her expertise, i never underestimate her. it just that, u gotta know, everything has their own limit, including listening to someone. listening to her, doesn't mean worship her. following her footsteps doesn't mean doing anything that she requests u to do.

u have ur own personality. u have ur own specialty. u r special in ur own way. changing urself to fit in her perfect mole is not a proper way. well, u might think im jealous of u when im saying this. u might think, we this gang, is remaining at the same place, while u keep moving forward. i do not deny that. of coz we can move on ourselves, in our own lives, studies, relationship and all. but at the end of the day, we come back to the same place, we gather, and we are still the same!

knowledge is precious. friends are precious. i think i heard this quote before. "the higher u climb, the higher u fall." im not cursing u. but do remember whenever u r tired, do turn back n see. we are still at the same place. ur HIAOHIAO bingtuan is still there, with our warm huggies and open hands.

appreciate what u have now, while u r chasing after something else. FAMILY and FRIENDS.


*dedicate to my best friend, whom had changed a lot now. physically and mentally.*